It has been confirmed that I should be in London in two months as an official nanny to my cousin’s kids. Yes, your gracious highness will soon attend to the affairs of alien children and state of their poop. I don’t know what the heck to do with it, but I’m keeping my mind open for the possibility of invading the British soil and sell bagoong there. Who knows I might even wear the crown someday.

Anyway, let me assess my English proficiency by listing down ten things I already know (or might not know) about the United Kingdom. To my British friends, I’m sorry if I screw up in this test. Correct me if I’m wrong.

1. It’s the land of many queens. Does the Bohemian-rock group, The Queen, belong to Britain? If not, where is their throne?
2. Princess Diana is their national hero. Prince William is my ex-boyfriend.
3. Everyone drives on the left lane.
4. Harry Potter is English and was recently seen butt-naked beside a horse.
5. The United Kingdom is composed of England, Wales and Scotland.
6. The current prime minister is Tony Blair. Margaret Thatcher is the only Englishwoman who became prime minister.
7. Mr Bean lives in England.
8. Buckingham Palace is the official residence of the British Royalty.
9. London is the country’s capital.
10. The West End is London’s answer to Broadway.